Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
