there was a trapeze. enough said
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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