Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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