Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
There r osticjed everywhere
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize