I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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