brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
