I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize