all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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