i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
