I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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