My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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