i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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