Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
