bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
