We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Randomize
