Soap is not a condiment
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
