I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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