My nipple is on Facebook.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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