just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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