New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize