Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
