The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
