i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
