i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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