OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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