called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
