But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
