i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
