I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
