you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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