sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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