ADVERTISEMENT

• (319): View more from Iowa

  Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts

  Fav 51 5380 1238

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...

  Fav 61 837 4429

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.

  Fav 31 4161 911

  share tweet
  

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.

  Fav 5 3198 2360

  share tweet
  
• 

  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (205): View more from Alabama

  he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...

  Fav 6 3776 1049

  share tweet
  

• (623): View more from Arizona

  Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there

  Fav 8 2651 1239

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (417): View more from Missouri

  How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

  Fav 17 1981 2635

  share tweet
  

• (323): View more from California

  but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"

  Fav 2 940 629

  share tweet
  

• (801): View more from Utah

  Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there

  Fav 3 712 558

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Come on... He's just practicing.

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Ok. That's acceptable.

  Fav 3 764 621

  share tweet
  

• (905): View more from Ontario

  He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs

  Fav 4 798 553

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.

  Fav 3 628 459

  share tweet
  

• (312): View more from Illinois

  if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry

  Fav 1 572 390

  share tweet
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online

  Fav 2 50 16

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (207): View more from Maine

  I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head

  Fav 1 40 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize