I am spending my child support on dildos
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
we're so committed to being not committed