Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(661): View more from California

So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"

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(661): So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick" http://tfl.nu/zy8y

Replies (7) Good night (1364) Bad night (487)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

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(508): I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man. http://tfl.nu/yrla

Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (2001)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.

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(215): After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk. (610): I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect. http://tfl.nu/dim5

Replies (43) Good night (14189) Bad night (1023)
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(714): View more from California

drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.

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(714): drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well. http://tfl.nu/2mtg

Replies (26) Good night (8143) Bad night (1417)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day

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(314): I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day http://tfl.nu/ayjg

Replies (6) Good night (3011) Bad night (1233)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.

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(215): we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius. http://tfl.nu/4mg0

Replies (19) Good night (4080) Bad night (858)
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(720): View more from Colorado

These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.

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(720): These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo. http://tfl.nu/f63z

Replies (5) Good night (2961) Bad night (1377)
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(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(512): Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today. http://tfl.nu/tybk

Replies (10) Good night (1466) Bad night (1938)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.

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(402): He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is. (1-402): Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors. http://tfl.nu/lcrs

Replies (6) Good night (1682) Bad night (478)
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(207): View more from Maine

I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.

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(207): I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas. http://tfl.nu/wigg

Replies (11) Good night (1386) Bad night (491)
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(864): View more from South Carolina

my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!

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(864): my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year! http://tfl.nu/rim4

Replies (8) Good night (753) Bad night (353)
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(802): View more from Vermont

"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..

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(802): "I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked.. http://tfl.nu/jof4

Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (382)
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(956): View more from Texas

I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.

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(956): I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied. http://tfl.nu/aspz

Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (384)
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(714): View more from California

someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.

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(714): someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults. http://tfl.nu/sjq2

Replies (6) Good night (530) Bad night (612)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?

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(303): Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real? http://tfl.nu/o1yr

Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (280)

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