Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
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Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Can vaginas get frostbite?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!