you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.