he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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