She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
