they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
