I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
