I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize