Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
