Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You're a waste of cheezeits
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
