it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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