I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
