I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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