just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Houston, we have a blender
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
