I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
