you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
soo... how was my night?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
