hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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