forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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