Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Randomize
