I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize