I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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