I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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