I didn't shave. On purpose
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
