I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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