I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
