yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
