it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
