Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize